Our Dirty Little Secret
by wlshygirl79
Summary: Puck-centric fic. Puck gets a phone call from someone looking for his very special services....humor is included...rated M for implied sexual situations
1. Wakeup Call

This idea just came to me...I thought what if...so I hope you enjoy...there are 7 parts total, but I want to see the feedback on this before I put any more up....

Its a story about a boy, who gets a call from a women, who's asking for a favor. Boy does he get it all wrong.....

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Buzz buzz…."mmmm"…buzz buzz…

Annoyed Puck reached out, groping for his cell phone on the bedside table. He cracked his eye open to peak at the caller ID before answering, "It's too early for this shit!" Puck said sitting up. He recognized the number, even if it wasn't programmed into his contact list; it was Finn's house phone. If it had been anyone else, especially after all the shit that just went down with baby-gate 2009, he would have ignored the call.

Not sure how this conversation was going to go Puck hesitantly answered the phone, "Yeah!"

"Afternoon Noah!" Finn's mom greeted him cheerfully. He relaxed back against his headboard slightly. "I didn't wake you did I?" She sounded concerned, Puck looked over at the clock but suppressed the moan he would have normally expressed realizing it was actually one o'clock in the afternoon, and not earlier like he thought.

'Must have been some night last night!' He thought to himself, a slow smile spread across his lips. Remembering he was on the phone with his best friends (or ex-best friends he wasn't really sure) mom he spoke, "Nah Mrs. H I was just playing xbox, a little distracted, what's up?" It was his turn to sound confused. He was suddenly a little worried as to why Mrs. Hudson was calling him, he hoped she wasn't gonna ream him out for knocking up her son's girlfriend, that would be weird.

"I need your help with my pipes." She stated matter-of-factly.

Puck almost choked on his tongue. "What?" He managed to squeak out.

She didn't seem to notice the panic in Puck's voice, "Well Finn's out of town, visiting his grandparents during the school break and the sink in the bathroom is clogged. I've heard you and Finn discussing that you've cleaned out a few pipes while working one of your pool jobs." She bit her lip embarrassed to admit she had eavesdropped on her son and his best friend, "I thought I'd see if you could fix it before I called a professional, you know how things are around here cash wise."

Puck could not believe he was having this conversation with one of his friend's mothers. He was also really mortified that Mrs. H had heard him and Finn discussing his M.I.L. practices, even if she didn't know what they were really talking about. Damn, what if they had ever slipped and actually said what it was Noah did with his older female clients. Nah not gonna happen, neither of them was mature enough to actually say discuss it without using metaphors, Puck took comfort in that thought.

His head was reeling. "If you can't do it don't worry I'll just…"

Snapping back to reality Puck cut her off, "No…no problem Mrs. H. just give me an hour to get my stuff together and I'll be over to see if I can help."

With a quick thank you she ended the call. Puck closed his eyes and took a deep breath, "Pull it together man! This is Mrs. Hudson you're talking about, she's practically your second mother." He continued to berate himself as he got up and dressed, how could he have thought such a sweet lady would even consider propositioning him for sex, seriously Crazy was right, sometimes he was such a pig.

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please leave me your thoughts!


	2. Lets get Busy

Lots of traffic...but no reviews sadly....here's the next chapter, maybe this will inspire a comment or too....:)

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Puck had arrived at the Hudson's within the hour. Mrs. H had shown him which sink was the problem and went back to doing whatever it is moms do. He had his tool box open on the floor beside him, his head under the counter as he tried to find the water shut off.

"Everything going ok in here?" He heard Finn's mom ask from the doorway.

"Yep," He responded as he slid back out from under the sink, "Just had to shut off the water before I do anything else." As he looked at the door he noticed Mrs. H was removing her signature jean vest.

"It's a little hot in here today, don't you think?" She asked as she moved out of his line of vision. Puck swallowed hard, that was something one of his 'clients' would say before they stripped down to their panties and paraded around in front of him.

"I'm gonna have to have Finn clean out the heating system when he gets back," she told him as she walked back toward the bathroom door.

Puck's eyes were glued to the doorframe waiting for Mrs. H to reappear. This was just too weird. He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding when she reappeared a second later. Her hair was now pulled up into a ponytail and her sleeves had been pushed up to her elbows. "Can I get you something to drink Noah?" She asked as she finished pushing up her right sleeve.

His eyes were practically bugging out of his head, all he could manage was to shake his head no. "Alright, I'll try to stop bugging you now so you can work!" She gave him that loving mother smile before she disappeared from the doorway again.

"Jesus man, pull it together." He told himself as he tried to get back to the task at hand. 'What is wrong with you, there is no way Mrs. Hudson would be coming onto you. You're a stud sure.' He told himself with a smug grin, quickly dropping it from his face, 'But she's known you since you were like eight, no way does she think about you and sex in the same sentence.'

He went back to work, trying to put any thoughts of Mrs. H and her coming onto him out of his head.


	3. Game On

I got my first review...so Im in a good mood and posting the next chapter...see how easy I can... thank you **kkcnelson2002 **for reading and reviewing!!! and a thank you to **Little Rijii** for the alert!

__Please enjoy!____________________

Noah worked for a little while longer trying to figure out what the problem was, he had done this at home enough to know five or six things to try before giving up. As he worked he heard Finn's mom moving about the house, she passed the bathroom door several times, but didn't stop to speak with him. He was finally getting his common sense back when Mrs. H came into the bathroom again.

"Don't mind me Noah, just putting away some towels." She moved towards the linen closet, putting the laundry basket down on the ground by her feet. Like most mothers she absently began talking, knowing she had a captive audience, Puck was trapped under the sink working. "I'm so excited about next Friday." She told him.

"Yeah!" He responded. He had learned from his own mother long ago; when she's talking, even if you're not really listening, she expects a response. Puck continued what he was doing.

"In all the years you and Finn have been friends I've never been to your house for a real Jewish dinner." She went on, "I was so thrilled when your mom asked me to come over for the first night of Hanukah."

"Uh hum."

"It's just so exciting!" She continued to gush, but Puck really wasn't listening.

"Do you think we can do it?" She asked, pulling Puck back to the present.

"What?" He sputtered out as he tried to sit up quickly, knocking his head on the underside of the counter. "Damn it!"

"Oh Noah!" She gushed as she moved down to his side to see if he was alright. "Are you hurt?" She asked concern thick in her voice.

He rubbed at his forehead, so confused about what was happening here. "Yeah, fine!" He told her, not chancing a look in her direction. "What did you just ask me?"

She blushed a little, embarrassed by what she had asked. "Never mind, it was silly." She told him as she moved to get up from his side on the floor.

Puck swallowed hard, this was too unreal, but he had to know what she had meant when she asked 'could they do it?''. "No… I… just didn't hear you." He lied, not telling her he had tuned her out so he could work.

She gave him a sheepish smile, her eyes brightening up, "Well I was just wondering if we could play a game." She looked away nervously.

Puck felt the blood drain out of his face, what in the world was happening here. Sure, he was a total badass and a stud, but this, this was just insane. "Um I…" He couldn't get the words out.

"Yeah, you know, that driedle game, with the top. I don't know anything about it, but it looks like it would be fun." She told him feeling a bit childish.

Realization dawned on him as to what she was asking and he dropped his head into his hands mortified that he thought such awful things about Mrs. H. What was wrong with him? He gave a slight groan of disgust.

"Oh my, you must have really hurt yourself when you hit your head." She reached out her hand to him, "Come with me, we're putting some ice on that head."

Puck felt a slight twitch in his pants, but tried to ignore it. There was a special place in Hell for him, and this moment just proved it. He got up off the floor and followed Mrs. H. into the kitchen; taking a seat at one of the counter stools as he waited for her to grab an icepack from the freezer. Her son was an athlete; it was standard to have at least two icepacks in the fridge at all times.

As she handed over the icepack to him the door bell rang. "Oh that must be Rachel!" Mrs. H said excitedly as she headed from the front door.

If possible, Puck was even more confused. He was pretty sure he knew which Rachel was at the Hudson's front door, what he didn't know is why.


	4. Oh snap, Im in trouble!

And so it continues...thank you for your reviews...makes me happy!!!! Please enjoy!!!

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He strained to listen as the front door was opened and Mrs. H greeted her company. He couldn't hear everything, but he recognized the voice of Rachel Berry as she told Finn's mom she was happy to come over to help and that her fathers had dropped her off and told her to call them when she needed a ride home.

He heard them headed back towards the kitchen and tried to look natural, relaxing his posture into the stool.

"Noah you know Rachel right?" Mrs. H asked as the two women entered the small space.

He caught the flash of surprise that crossed Rachel's eyes, along with another emotion he couldn't place, probably disgust. "Puck, it's a surprise to see you here at the Hudson's!" She said, "With Finn being away." She added when a confused look crossed Mrs. Hudson's face. He knew what she meant, how the hell could he show his face in this house after what he did to Finn. Puck was pretty sure Finn hadn't told his mom what was going on, not wanting to upset her. Otherwise he was fairly sure Mrs. H wouldn't have called him.

Mrs. H cut in to explain, "Well since Finn's out of town and there was a problem with one of the bathroom sinks, Noah agreed to come over to see if he could fix it for me." He smiled brightly at her son's friend.

Rachel's expressions softened at Mrs. Hudson's explanation, "That's very sweet of you Noah." She praised him.

Not sure how to respond to that he spoke the first thought that popped into his head. "What are you doing here, Berry?"

The two women exchanged giggling looks. "I too am here as a favor to Mrs. Hudson." Rachel informed Puck, still not answering his question.

"While I was shopping this morning I ran into Rachel and her fathers and we got to talking." Mrs. H added.

Seeing that the other woman was ok with revealing why Rachel was here she took over explaining, "Seems Mrs. Hudson has become smitten with a lovely young Jewish fella." Rachel beamed.

Puck rolled his eyes. 'Did Berry always have to be such a freak?' he wondered.

"And she's going to be joining him and his family for a traditional Jewish celebration shortly. She asked me to come over and give her some tips on the proper etiquette for such an event."

Suddenly Puck found it hard to breathe after Berry's statement. Hadn't Mrs. H just been going on about coming over to his house next week for Hanukkah? Shit this wasn't good, the woman was in love with him.

"Isn't that just so romantic?" Rachel exclaimed as she got a far off look in her eyes.

Mrs. Hudson blushed at the attention, "Again Rachel I cannot thank you enough for doing this." The older woman went on and on about how grateful she was to Rachel for her help; Puck had tuned them both out now.

This was not happening, his best friend's mother was not in love with him, she couldn't possibly be. This was insane. He stood up quickly, almost knocking over the stool he was resting on. Both women looked at him concerned. "I should get back to work on the sink." He told them as he made his way out of the kitchen. He was so screwed.


	5. Get it done and get out of there

Here's the next installment...two more left after this one....are you guys enjoying!! I hope so!

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Puck worked as quickly as he could to fix the problem, he had to get out of this house and away from Finn's mother. Sure he was a stud; few women could refuse his '_**badassness**_' ways, but this was way out of line, even for him.

He stood over the sink, looking at himself in the mirror, "I mean yeah I'm a good looking Jew," he gave him reflection a smug smile, "but seriously this is just insane." He ran a hand through his Mohawk in frustration.

Shaking his head out of his thoughts he turned the knob on the sink, letting the water flow. He watched with a satisfied smirk as the water drained perfectly down the sink. Damn he really was '_that_' good.

Puck packed up his things and headed downstairs, he needed to get out of here before Mrs. H really did try to put the moves on him. He put his tools down by the front door and headed into the kitchen to tell Finn's mom he was done fixing her sink and was heading out.

"…and really that's just a formality, you'll find a lot of households don't actually participate in that particular ritual anymore." He heard Rachel telling Mrs. Hudson. "But I'm getting ahead of myself, you've got the basics down for your dinner with your fella and his family, the rest can be learned later."

Puck cleared his throat from the doorway. They both looked over at him, Mrs. H giving him a sweet smile. "Noah, how's it going up there?" She asked her voice full of hope.

"All set Mrs. H. It's working fine now, shouldn't give you any more problems." He leaned against the door frame lazily.

A large grin spread across Finn's mothers face. "Oh thank you Noah, that's so wonderful, I don't know how I can repay you properly."

Puck pulled away from the door frame, standing up straight again, "No worries, happy to help." He told her, afraid of where this was going.

"Well I think I'm done here for today. I've given you plenty of information that should help you on your date." Rachel said as she stood up, "If you need anything please don't hesitate to call me Mrs. Hudson, I'm happy to help."

Puck felt a little nauseous at how sweet Berry could be at times.

"Oh no, thank you Rachel, you were wonderful. You really helped to set my mind at ease."

With a shy nod Rachel reached into her pocket to pull out her cell, "I'm just going to call my fathers to have them pick me up." She ducked off to the side to place her call.

Mrs. H turned her gaze back to Puck. He swallowed nervously. "Noah there must be something I can do to show you how grateful I am for your help today."

Puck didn't like the look he was seeing in Mrs. H's eyes. He looked around the room nervously as his eyes fell on Rachel. He stepped forward, "Really no need to thank me Mrs. H." He told her with panic in his voice. Puck put his hand on Rachel's shoulder, causing her to jump as she turned to face him. "Don't bother your dads Berry; I'll give you a lift home." He told her keeping his eyes off of Mrs. Hudson.

Confusion flashed across Rachel's face at Puck's words, she was about to argue, but something in his look told her not to. "Thank you Noah, they don't seem to be home at the moment anyway." She hung up the phone and slid it back into her pocket.

"Ok Mrs. H. good seeing you, we should be going." Puck words rushed out of his mouth as he turned towards the door to leave. Not taking his hands off Rachel he ushered her to the front door.

Rachel tried to look around Puck to say her good byes. "See you later Mrs. Hudson!" Rachel called out as she struggled to spot the older woman standing in the kitchen doorway.

"Bye kids!" Mrs. Hudson laughed as the two teens disappeared out the front door of her house. 'Kids today!' she thought to herself as she began cleaning up the kitchen.


	6. Car Ride Conversations

This is the second to last chapter...I hope you've enjoyed this...I had fun righting it..Ive got a few other stories for this pairing Im working on, but don't know if they'll be any good...

Enjoy!

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A few steps shy of his truck Rachel pulled herself out of Puck's grip. "Noah Puckerman what is wrong with you?" Her tone annoyed.

He gave her a confused look. "You practically ran out of the Hudson's house. It was rather rude." She told him.

Puck dropped his eyes to the ground, a little ashamed of how be acted, but he had to get out of there. "You don't understand Berry, just get in the truck and I'll take you home." He sounded a little defeated.

Her expression softened towards him. She did as he asked, climbing up into the cab of his truck with a little assistance from Puck. "Damn Berry you're tiny!" He mumbled as he closed her door for her, she didn't get a chance to respond.

Noah made his way around the truck and hopped into the cab alongside Berry. Neither spoke for the first few minutes, an awkward silence settling between them.

Slowly she turned in her seat to look at the side of his face, "So are you gonna tell me what that was about back there?" Her voice soft and not demanding.

Puck took his eyes off the road for a second to look at her, but didn't speak right away. She didn't push, which was a surprise even to herself, she could see he wanted to say something.

"I just had to get out of there." He finally spoke.

Ok not the explanation she was expecting, but a start. "And why was that?" She pressed forward.

"I just did, ok?" He was getting uncomfortable with where this was going, he did not do chick flick moments.

"Noah, because is not a reason." She said in her most parental tone. He couldn't help but roll his eyes. "This isn't about…you know the whole…with you and…" She was having trouble forming her sentence, but Puck knew what she was talking about.

"No!" He cut her off from going further down that road.

"Then I really don't get it." Rachel gave a little huff as she settled back into the passenger seat.

Noah looked at her out of the side of his eyes, knowing she was going into full Rachel Diva mode. "Shetriedtocomeontome." Puck mumbled it out in one word.

"Excuse me?" She turned back to him, not understanding what he just said.

Puck sighed, "I said '_she tried to come on to me'_" this time the words were said through gritted teeth.


	7. Dirty Little Secret

And so it ends....I hope you enjoyed...I would really love to hear what people thought! thanks! and enjoy!!

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Rachel was silent for a minute before she started to giggle.

"What?" He asked when he heard her laughing, "She asked me to come over and clean her 'pipes'." He informed Rachel using air quotes for emphasis, "Then she kept dropping these little hints, making out of line comments, with hidden meanings." He didn't see what was so funny.

"Plus she had you come over to give her tips for when she comes over to have dinner with me and my family next week. She wants to make a good impression on my mom." He was so serious.

Rachel was rolling in laughter now, clutching her sides to stop the pain. She had to get her breathing under control or she was gonna pass out. "Oh…god...Noah…please stop you're killing me." Her words punctuated with her giggles.

"It's not funny Berry, it's actually creepy if you think about it." Puck had pulled over to the side of the road when Rachel began laughing. He turned straight ahead and crossed his arms over his chest in annoyance.

Rachel fought to get herself under control, "Noah, I'm sorry." She told him as she reached out to put a reassuring hand on his crossed arms. "It's just," Rachel bit her lip, to hold her laughter back.

Puck turned to face her now, wanting to know what she knew that he didn't, what was making this so hilarious for her.

"It's just that, while I was shopping today, and ran into Mrs. Hudson," she looked away, she knew Noah's pride was going to be hurt with her next words and she felt guilty for laughing at him now, "she was shopping with her new boyfriend, Larry Schwartzman." Again she bit her lip, this time in anticipation of Puck's reactions.

His eyes went wide as he turned to look at her, "You mean Rabbi Schwartzman's little bother?" He swallowed hard, how stupid could he be.

"Yes, that's why she wanted to make such a good impression, she's having dinner with the Rabbi at the end of Hanukah and she didn't want to embarrass Larry. She pulled me aside and asked me for help." Rachel looked down, feeling sorry for Noah.

She could see the blush creep across his face as realization dawned on him; his hands went out to grip his steering wheel. He was silent for a few seconds letting his stupidity wash over him. With a groan he dropped his head to his arms, wow he'd really misjudged this situation, what was wrong with him.

Rachel watched him for a bit not sure what she should do or say. She noticed his shoulder begin to shake and she began to panic, 'Oh god, please tell me Noah Puckerman is not crying'.

But then Puck threw his head back and let out the loudest laugh she'd ever heard him express, a small smile spreading across her face, relieved he was finally seeing the humor of all this.

After a few minutes Puck dropped his head back on his head rest, gasping for a few steadying breaths. Rachel leaned forward and wiped away a few of the laughter tears that were rolling down his face.

"Oh god I needed that." He told her honestly. "I haven't laughed in so long." All humor leaving his voice.

Rachel gave him a sweet sad smile. "Noah, I'm sorry about my part…"

He shook his head no, silencing her. "It's done." His eyes locked with hers, "Quinn and I shouldn't have kept it quiet, we only hurt Finn more…" Noah looked away, out the driver's side window, avoiding Rachel's concerned stare. "I should get you home." He said reaching for the gear shift to put the car in drive.

Rachel moved back to her seat in silence. The rest of the short car ride was made without another word being spoken. As Puck pulled up in front of Rachel's house she undid her seat belt and slid out of the truck, "Thanks for the ride Noah." She said without looking up at him.

He nodded, keeping his eyes straight ahead, "Yeah sure." She moved to shut the door but his voice called her back, "oh and Rach, if you tell anyone about what I thought…" He let the threat hang in the air for a second before a smirk crossed his lips.

Rachel gave him her own devilish smile, "Don't worry Noah it will be our dirty little secret!" She didn't stick around to see the shocked looked that Noah was wearing as she made her way up the driveway to her front door.


End file.
